TIPS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
Turn offences into jokes or question.
Little, I mean very minuet offences can cause a big
trouble in a marriage if not handled maturely. Most
divorce cases are as a result of unresolved offences.
Sometime ago I wrote that it does not matter who
you have married, that you will be offended by that
person one day, whether the offence is intentional or
not makes no difference. So, if you followed offences
the way they came in your marriage, you are going to
have things in a mess. So, I advise that if your wife or
husband offends you deliberately turn it into a joke
or reduce it to a question, by so doing you would
have saved the situation.
An example could be that you have always told your
spouse that you wanted something to be done in a
particular way and he/she makes a mistake and did
that thing that you have always warned he/she about,
instead of shouting or getting unnecessarily angry,
turn it into a question, you will still be able to
communicate your displeasure about that act without
escalating the matter. Ask questions like, is this the
best way we can do this? Do you think this is the best
way to serve this food? Don’t you think it will be
better you brush your hair outside instead of right
inside the bedroom? Do you think this mug is best
placed here? Don’t you think the music volume is too
loud? Must we watch this program on TV this night?
Etc.
When you reduce your displeasures to questions as
in the above, you communicate your point without
quarrels and provocations. You can also find a way
around an offence and turn it into a joke, that way
you say what is on your mind without causing more
problems. Let us say for instance that your wife went
to the market and has stayed for too long while you
are at home feeling very hungry. Instead of picking
your phone, calling and questioning why she is still in
the market and demanding to know if she wants to
buy the whole market, you can call her up and say,
Sweetheart, please don’t buy the whole market ooo,
remain some for others to buy too, you know there is
love in sharing. If you did this, you would have
communicated that she has stayed for too long
without causing any trouble.
AGREED OR DISAGREED? WANT MORE?
Little, I mean very minuet offences can cause a big
trouble in a marriage if not handled maturely. Most
divorce cases are as a result of unresolved offences.
Sometime ago I wrote that it does not matter who
you have married, that you will be offended by that
person one day, whether the offence is intentional or
not makes no difference. So, if you followed offences
the way they came in your marriage, you are going to
have things in a mess. So, I advise that if your wife or
husband offends you deliberately turn it into a joke
or reduce it to a question, by so doing you would
have saved the situation.
An example could be that you have always told your
spouse that you wanted something to be done in a
particular way and he/she makes a mistake and did
that thing that you have always warned he/she about,
instead of shouting or getting unnecessarily angry,
turn it into a question, you will still be able to
communicate your displeasure about that act without
escalating the matter. Ask questions like, is this the
best way we can do this? Do you think this is the best
way to serve this food? Don’t you think it will be
better you brush your hair outside instead of right
inside the bedroom? Do you think this mug is best
placed here? Don’t you think the music volume is too
loud? Must we watch this program on TV this night?
Etc.
When you reduce your displeasures to questions as
in the above, you communicate your point without
quarrels and provocations. You can also find a way
around an offence and turn it into a joke, that way
you say what is on your mind without causing more
problems. Let us say for instance that your wife went
to the market and has stayed for too long while you
are at home feeling very hungry. Instead of picking
your phone, calling and questioning why she is still in
the market and demanding to know if she wants to
buy the whole market, you can call her up and say,
Sweetheart, please don’t buy the whole market ooo,
remain some for others to buy too, you know there is
love in sharing. If you did this, you would have
communicated that she has stayed for too long
without causing any trouble.
AGREED OR DISAGREED? WANT MORE?